Sonic Assault - posted on 09/03/2014 by

What happens when you EQ all the mids out…


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Sonic Assault - posted on 06/18/2014 by

My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult

I Love me some Groovie Man…

IMG_4893 IMG_4876 IMG_4854 IMG_4820 IMG_4872

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Sonic Assault - posted on 01/28/2014 by

How to play GuitarRig ‘live’ though the speakers – OSX

In my office, I have a badass computer.  MacPro tower, dual quad-core CPUs, 32G RAM, 3 monitors, etc.  I use this system for work and it’s awesome. I finally invested in myself and threw-down on a killer rig that lets me work at my demanding pace and not have to wait on applications.

If it's too loud... die already!Anyway, in my office, when I take a break, I like to bust out the git-fiddle and jam a bit.  I’ve got a rockin’ guitar rig (the REAL thing – lots of physical amps, a stack of rackmount boxes with blinky lights, and loads of shit to step on to make funny noises)…but the trouble is, it’s in the basement and on the other side of the house.  It’s not really convenient to go fire up the reactor and warm up the tubes when I’ve got 5-10 minutes of downtime here and there at work.

Enter the desire to be able to plug the ol’ axe into something in my office.  While some folks would think to themself at this point, “self, why not just use a damn amp?”…I like to make shit harder than it needs to be sometimes.

See, I’ve also got this kick ass piece of software called GuitarRig (the virtual kind of Rig)…and it’s got even more toys than my basement…so naturally I want to be able to play around with this beast as well.  Seems like the perfect option for my office – a small-footprint “rig” that makes all the cool squeals and nasty growls I want to hear.  Now to just sort out how to actually play through the damn thing.

A couple months back I purchased an Apogee ONE so that I can plug a guitar directly into my Mac to then ‘jack-into’ GuitarRig.  It’s a pretty cool little unit – nice and small – with a single volume knob and jacks for 1/4″ and XLR.  It hooks to my tower via USB.

To get sound into GuitarRig via the Apogee, it takes some trivial audio setup.  Connect the ONE and install the bundled Maestro 2 software.  Fire up Maestro 2, select the input device named ‘Inst’ (for INSTrument – ie, the 6-string weapon of choice) and make sure you’re seeing input and output in the Maestro level meters.

Screen Shot 2014-01-28 at 3.52.59 PM

Screen Shot 2014-01-28 at 3.53.12 PM

Once the guitar levels are recognized by GuitarRig via the ONE, I jack-in, hit some strings, and see the input levels in GuitarRig start flashing away.  The ONE is overall a pretty sweet little gadget.  There’s one catch to the design though.  To actually HEAR the output of GuitarRig, you are supposed to jack headphones or external speakers into the Apogee ONE.   Call me stubborn but I want to be able to hear the damn output without having to put on headphones or clutter things up with a second set of speakers.  I’ve got nice speakers already hooked to the MacPro and want to just listen to the output via these.

Should be easy, right?

Not so fast.  The way the signal path routes, the ONE can’t for example send it’s output back through the USB…it’s ONLY way out is via the 1/8″ jack.

So how do we take the output of the ONE and then feed it back into the computer? The MacPro has a ‘Built-In Line Input’ 1/8″ jack on the back next to the speaker output jack.  Can I perhaps connect a stereo 1/8″ audio cable from the ONE output to this input?

I did a bunch of digging around and found that it’s not possible in OSX by itself to take the input from the system’s ‘Built-in Line Input’ and have that output directly to the system’s ‘Built-in Line Output’.  I did find out however that there’s a kick-ass free add-on utility that CAN accomplish exactly this.  The utility is called aptly, LineIn.

Getting this operational at this point was a breeze.  Install LineIn – Fire it up.  Once it’s running, select the ‘Input from:’ value of ‘Built-in Line Input’, select the ‘Output to: value of ‘Built-in Line Output’ and click ‘Pass Thru’.  DONE!

Screen Shot 2014-01-28 at 3.47.03 PM

Once this utility is running, fire up GuitarRig, crank up the axe’s volume, and slap some strings.   You should see input levels in GuitarRig from the git-fiddle, output levels in GuitarRig for the noises yer making, and activity levels in LineIn for the audio as it’s passing through.

Screen Shot 2014-01-28 at 3.49.53 PM


Tune your signal levels at each step to make sure things are sane and not clipping out the ass, and you should finally be able to hear that sweet sweet sound of Rock-n-Roll bleeding through your fingertips and out your speakers into your noiseholes.  Enjoi.

A diagram of the signal-path is below:

Signal Path - Guitar to ONE to MAC to GuitarRig to ONE to MAC to speakers

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/dev/null, Clueless - posted on 12/11/2013 by


Java is like severe head-trauma for your computer.

Anyone that writes applications in this garbage language has obviously never had to use a Java-based application.  If they had, they’d realize how fucking buggy, inconsistent, and slow this language is in real life.

Please, if you know anyone developing in Java, do them and the Internet a favor and check them into rehab.


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Clueless, Liquid, Solid - posted on 04/06/2012 by

Tunnel Tampons

Just when you thought the Dept. of Homeland Security couldn’t get any weirder, check out this gem of an idea.
“…What’s the best way to plug a giant hole? Why with a giant plug, of course. That’s the thinking of the Department of Homeland Security’s (DHS) Science and Technology Directorate (S&T), which has created just such a giant plug to contain flooding or dangerous gases in mass transit tunnels…”
I wonder how Tampax feels about this.
“…for those EXTRA HEAVY FLOW days…coming soon to Drug Stores near you…”
Tunnel Tampon

Tunnel Tampon



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Animal, Clueless - posted on 12/17/2010 by


Let’s see if anyone can find what’s
wrong with this picture.

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Clueless, Solid - posted on 10/28/2010 by

Good advice

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Clueless - posted on 05/07/2010 by

No clue

Somebody needs to find the head of this product line and slap them with a BIG clue bat

I mean seriously….can this be any further from the point?

Can you spot what’s wrong with this picture?

(here’s a hint – the re-usable bags are packaged in a throw-away plastic bag. Not only is it ridiculously redundant to bag a bag, but it’s also wasteful…which is the purpose of the reusable bag in the first place.)

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/dev/null - posted on 04/06/2010 by

Hello world!


     printf("Hello World");

Boot sector found.
Image initializing…

Ahhh, that’s much better. I love a good boot-up in the morning.

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